Cupcakes, Kids, Volunteers, Civility and Respect

You would have to be living in a cave to not have heard the story about Michael Wolfenson, the New Castle Town Councilman/cupcake vigilante. I know Michael, and I am quite sure that if he had to do it over again, he wouldn't; or at least not the same way. I would like to think that the boy’s parents would handle it differently next time too. The family friend who called the paper 5 weeks later too. Everyone would take a mulligan on this one if they could.

The national and even international media has made this into a story about the big bad politician picking on the little kids. To me, that is not what this story is really about. This is a story about civility and the public reaction to the story. Michael Wolfenson, regardless of your political leanings, regardless of your opinion on his local votes, regardless of where you stand on the Reader’s Digest site and regardless of where you stand on the great cupcake capitalism debate deserves to be treated with respect and civility. (Make no mistake about it, the boys also deserve respect, civility and whatever accommodation is appropriate for 13 year old boys.)

Michael Wolfenson is essentially a volunteer trying to help his neighbors, friends and town residents the best he can. Michael Wolfenson got involved in town politics because of an overwhelming desire to honor local residents killed in the September 11, 2001 terror attacks. He spent years fighting for a singular cause because he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do. If you have been to the 9/11 memorial at Gedney Park, the very park in which this incident took place, you would agree his efforts were well worth it. He simply wants to help the community. You may not always agree with him on what is right, but his intentions are good.

I have said this in the past, but it is worth repeating here. I can assure you that neither he nor the other town board members are in it for the money. Town Board members are paid less than $10,000 a year. (The Supervisor gets approximately 5 times that amount.) My guess is that that works out to way less than minimum wage when you factor in the time they contribute.

We need people like Michael Wofenson in this town. We need volunteers. We need people to be on the School Board, the Town Board, the Zoning Board, the Planning Board, the Board of Assessment Review, the Board of Architectural Review, the Conservation Board, the Downtown Steering Committee, the Environmental Review Board, the Millwood Task Force, the Sustainability Board, the Recreation Commission, the PTA, New Castle Cares, LWV, the Horace Greeley Scholarship Fund, the Chappaqua School Foundation, the boards and coaches of AYSO, CYSC, GYL and NCBSA, and all the other ways in which neighbors volunteer to help neighbors and contribute to the community.

Who in their right mind would want to volunteer for the community when the reaction to all they do is personal attacks? Playing “gotcha journalism” with local volunteers does nothing other than to dissuade them from continuing public service. I know, I am one of those volunteers. I am a member of the CCSD Board of Education. I have also coached countless of my children’s sports teams. I have gotten the emails from the parents who use stop watches to track their children’s playing time or from the parents say, “I don’t want to tell you how to coach, but…” and then proceed to tell you how to coach.

During the difficult budget discussions of the last few years I have heard residents call the teachers names, the board members names and each other names when they disagree with their point of view. How is that going to help the situation? Ad hominen attacks are unnecessary and counter-productive. There are no "bad guys" in the budget debate. There are differing groups that need to recognize that the collective long-term success is contingent upon short-term sacrifice. By all.

Heck, I have seen residents of New Castle make anonymous comments picking on students for making Cum Laud, for making speeches at graduation and for their sports efforts. Why? These are kids, not much older than the cupcake entrepreneurs simply trying to find their voice, to plot a way through this crazy thing called life.

Last spring, I thought long and hard prior to filing to run for re-election to the School Board. The primary reason I hesitated at all was the consideration of being a public figure in this day and age. Heaven forbid you make a mistake, and look what happens. Add in the people who hide behind the anonymity of the internet to make personal attacks and you too would question your decision to volunteer.

Know this, to be a public figure, even if it is just a volunteer here in Chappaqua, means having to endure and come to terms with personal attacks. But it should not have to. If we as a community want to continue to attract residents to our community and, as important, to attract volunteers from among those residents, we need to treat each other and those volunteers with respect and civility. Challenge the ideas; don’t attack the person.

The sense I get is that in our rush to judgment, our rush to attack, our desire to bring down the person we fail to recognize that the system is strengthened by having multiple and alternative candidates, multiple and alternative volunteers. We are chasing those potential contributors away. You can’t “vote da bums out” if you have no alternatives bums for whom to vote.

Let us as a community rise above. Let us find a way to recognize and applaud these children’s entrepreneurial spirit and let them continue to dream big while also appreciating the good intentions, the time and effort that Michael Wolfenson and all the various organization volunteers give to the community.

JSM

2wwj1